What’s the difference between and good impulse and a bad impulse? Many people struggle with telling the difference between a good impulse and a bad impulse when they work on controlling their impulses. And this struggle is the central topic of coaching for some people. So what litmus tests are there that help to tell the difference? Or even differences?
A good impulse
…is something that will be good in the short and long term. Going swimming – or doing any sport at an appropriate quantity and intensity, going to sleep earlier if we’re tired, eating a healthy meal, etc. Albeit the impulse may not feel good from the hedonistic viewpoint at the moment when we think of something impulsive, it will have good long-term effects. And a good impulse naturally fits into our path to being better people. It doesn’t distract from or conflict with the goal of being the best versions of ourselves.
A bad impulse
… is easy to define. It seems good from the hedonistic viewpoint, but will not lead to good effects in the long term. For example if we eat a ton of chocolate, we’ll feel its good effect for the time of eating. But most people won’t like the long-term effect. Alcohol, commercial sex, drugs, addictions, and binging are all bad impulses. Most people will have no problem with writing a list of bad impulses, but will have a problem with writing a list of good impulses. And a bad impulse distracts from the path to being a better person.
The difference between a good and bad impulse
… is not one, but are several. Well, the first one is that bad impulses always carry some conflict or friction. The conflict or friction is either between parts of us or between the body and mind or between will and spontaneity. Good impulses do not carry any conflict nor friction. The second difference is that if we ask whether the action will lead to happiness, we’ll answer no in the case of bad impulses and yes in the case of good impulses. Eating a ton of chocolate, commercial sex, drugs, addictions etc. won’t lead to happiness in the long term. Going swimming, eating a healthy meal etc. will lead to happiness in the long term. The effects of good impulses lead to happiness in the long term.
And the third difference is the most important one. In case of a good impulse the thing or action that we want to take feels right in all parts of us. We feel that the body and mind want the thing or action in harmony. There is no fighting, hesitating, evaluating. The intuition screams or whispers ‘yes, yes, yes’. And the feeling of something feeling right is easy for every one of us to identify because we’ve all felt it.
NLP coaching for impulsive behaviours
I wrote about a different facet of this topic long ago, so won’t repeat myself. I will only add that NLP has more easy tools that help here. And I won’t divulge them here so as not to make them easy for coaches who may read this article to take up because the best ‘artists’ steal and I write these articles for members of the general public who do not work in personal development. But letting our feelings tell us whether a thing or action feels right is also NLP. Because NLP is modelling and when we listen to our bodily signals, we model ourselves.
If you are a member of the general public who wants help with working on impulses, we can easily talk about how I could help. The value of an objective professional’s help is priceless. Just start a conversation…