Why Your Family Member or Friend Will Never Be Your Coach

Filed Under (Life Coaching & NLP) on 02-05-2017

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It’s amazing how many people would immensely benefit from coaching, yet don’t wanna pay for it, because their argument is that they can’t afford it or wouldn’t wanna talk to a stranger about their problems. They think that talking to their family members or friends about their problems will do the job, and perhaps even better, because the family member or friend knows and will understand them.  Here’s why this approach won’t work and coaches have tremendous value in and to the society.

Talking to your family member or friend will never have the same effect as talking to a coach because:

1.  your family member or friend will most likely hold the subjective view of your problems like you, while a coach will hold the objective view. You can argue that your family members or friends will hold an objective view – that’s why they’re friends, but it’s impossible for your friends to hold the objective view because friends are people who share their and your life with you, thus highly likely think about your problems similarly to you [similarities made you friends, because you were likeminded, hence started a friendship] and will also highly likely be somewhat emotionally involved in your problems, which can present a problem right away. Family members will be even more emotionally involved in your problems than your friends, because families stick together and family members look out for each other…. A coach will not have any of these ‘handicaps’.

2. a coach has special training, such as the tools of NLP, which will not only keep the coach on task [= away from getting emotionally hooked on the content of your problems], but also look out for physiological and listen out for linguistic clues, and observe patterning [=programming] that will tell the coach how you help or hinder yourself from resolving the problem in question. Your family members or friends won’t have this special training.

3. while your family member or friend will highly likely concentrate on the content of your problems, a coach will concentrate on the process of your problems. This is also an important distinction for finding solutions to your problems.

4. a coach will have many interesting techniques and ways of thinking about your problem up the sleeve thanks to his/her special training, which your family member or friend won’t have. There’re many ways to ‘attack’ a problem and a coach will be guaranteed to have ways that you nor your family member or friend would think of, because you’ll highly likely have similar thinking, while a coach will come from a completely different world, which, plus the coach’s special training, will make imparting different ways of thinking about your problem a lot easier.

5. the very fact that you’re paying for coaching will inject an atmosphere of commitment to your learning and development – you’ll take it far more seriously than you might a cozy chat with a family member or friend.  The atmosphere in a coaching relationship will simply never be the same as that in a cozy chat with a family member or friend.  We westerners are conditioned by the western way of thinking to take things that we pay big money for more seriously – we’d be fools not to, right?  Exactly the point!

So every time a person argues that s/he can’t afford a coach or wouldn’t feel comfortably talking about his/her problems to a stranger I present these 5 points and the person has no choice but to admit that they make perfect sense.  There’s a lot to be said for the fact that we get what we pay for and free has no value.

Contact me for coaching for you and perhaps even your family members.


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