NLP and Self-sabotage

Filed Under (Life Coaching & NLP) on 03-07-2017

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Why do many people sabotage themselves when they approach the peak of having done so well at something they’ve been improving, developing, building for a while? How can NLP help stop this self-sabotage happening and shift ourselves to a higher ground? 

I described one answer in this article. Here I’ll describe another answer.  And I’ll describe it on a beautiful example from health to which hopefully everyone who looks after their health will easily relate.  Let’s assume that you decided time ago to get slimmer.  You started eating well, exercising, sleeping enough, and marking your accomplishments in a calendar, which would give you motivation and a way to measure progress.  Perhaps you made a tick for each thing per day. You went well for a few days, and then even started liking all the uninterrupted ticks in the calendar. And you started to notice the effects of the progress. So you went ticking successfully for a few more days…. which became weeks… And you started feeling an immense surge of energy, lighter on your feet, smaller in your body, slimmer in the mirror….

…and then came a point when you thought ‘I’ve been doing way too well for myself, so I can afford a treat. You stopped the climb, and perhaps slipped into doing some of the old things that you used to do before you started getting slimmer. At that point when you decided to stop you may have felt that ‘I’ve been doing way too well for myself’.

And this is where we’re getting to the answer.  The feeling of doing way too well for ourselves takes us out of our comfort zone. And that is never comfortable for us human beings.  So we stop by reverting to the old ways of treating ourselves in order to return to our comfort zone.  The familiar is comfortable. Outside our comfort zone we doubt that ‘this can’t be true, I can’t be doing this well’, and we don’t recognize ourselves… ‘Who am I (becoming)?’, we may ask, because we feel that this is not us!

The NLP way to shift us to a higher ground is to make the state of “doing way too well for ourselves” the norm. To make it the norm is to practice it till it becomes the norm. Practicing = pretending that the state of ‘doing way too well for ourselves’ is the norm. Once we’ve accepted to pretend that this state is the norm, we’ll feel more comfortably in “doing too well for ourselves” and easily sustain it for longer.  After even a few days the feeling that we’re doing ‘way too well’ will fade, because we’ve been practicing perceiving it as the norm for days.  Of course, we should treat ourselves, but perhaps differently or more healthily than we did in the old ways. And immediately after the treating we should go back to pretending that what was doing way too well for ourselves days ago is now the norm.  A week will pass and the ticks in the calendar will accumulate. You’ll like the ticks, yourself for winning over yourself, and your surge of energy even more. So you will manage another few days …. which will pass into weeks…. And after a month you’ll be well set on the new plain. Some say that it takes 28 days to build a habit…

After 2 more months, if you persist, the ‘new’ plain will become the norm and your body will even ask for this norm.  Your old ways of “treating” yourself will become uncomfortable and foreign to you and that’ll be a reliable test that your ‘new’ norm is now firmly in place.  The rewards will be immense, whether they be in slimming or whatever else in any aspect of life.


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